Sunday, March 29, 2015

Dear Social Media Expert: I Raise Your Unfollow With A Block And A Blog

October 8, 2010 by  
Filed under Social Media

I was unfollowed this morning for saying no. Actually I said no twice, which I assume is what made her mad at me. I wasn’t aware that if someone RTs me, that I owe them something. And when I say “something” … I mean  an advertisement cleverly disguised as an infographic hosted on my site and promoted by me.

I truly was trying to be nice. I even started my response by saying I was sorry, but that wasn’t enough. I could have simply ignored. Some say that is better. But I hate to ignore people intentionally. I truly want to show them the respect of at least a reply, even if it is a simple “no.”

Make no mistake, I have no problem with two friends helping each other out by spreading articles, links and information across social media networks. What I do have a problem with is people who have cultivated no relationship, or pre-disclosed agreement, demanding or expecting that they are owed anything in social media. We all have the right to choose what, when and how we share in social media.

Ok …  I could be wrong, and according to the Social Media Expert Engineer known as Claire Stokoe, I am wrong to make my own choices. She warned me before she unfollowed that I shouldn’t speak to her like crap because she RTs me.  (She clearly did not read my Top 10 Reasons Why I Did Not RT You article.) I do. however,  beg to differ on the statement that I treated her like crap. I politely declined, and then declined a second time.

On her site, she speaks about a term called “Whuffie” and defines that as what makes people trust a person. She goes on to say that .. prosperity is measured in good deeds, favors and trust.

OK so I guess her good deed in reference to me was that she RTed a few articles I posted. Her favors (though unknown to me when she began RTing me) were to be defined at a later date by a request to host an advertisement disguised as a guest blog disguised as an infographic on my web site.

And the trust, well I am still trying to determine how she gained my trust, and how could I ever have any sort of trusting relationship with her, when I know now that any relationship would be contingent on me bowing to her demands.

Her advice in an article about how brands should use twitter, she states,

“Mostly, I’d say to be honest – and I don’t mean say ‘hey, I work for [company]’ for every account you run, I mean if you set out an agenda in the beginning stick to it,” Stokoe advised. “If you plan to entertain them, do it; if you plan to sell to them, forget it. If you are running your account as a customer service exercise then 100 per cent disclosure is needed, deal with issues opening and very publicly. Show your flaws, we all have them, make the brand personable.”

Honestly though, she missed the mark today. She forgot how to cultivate a relationship on Twitter. I hate to believe she never knew it at all and just tossed out a few quick soundbites for the purpose of an article. However, anything is possible. I do believe that she needs an extra dose of whuffie.

NOTE: I would like to thank the developers of the New Twitter for making this screenshot so easy to obtain and post. The only way these threaded DMs could be better is if they had the oldest message at the top to allow for easier viewing, but you can read backwards today. Also absolutely love the fact that it counts the DMs and clearly shows that there were 9 in total exchanged between the @Killer_Bunnie and myself. (Click the photo to enlarge)

NOTE: Whuffie Image from


14 Responses to “Dear Social Media Expert: I Raise Your Unfollow With A Block And A Blog”
  1. Nixie says:

    I have to say that I am continually shocked by these kinds of stories. I’ve heard a lot of similar stories – just replace “Social Media Expert” with “Blogger” and it’s the same old song.

    What I always wonder is how people can feel such a strong connection via the computer. I follow you on Twitter and we’ve even exchanged some comments via @replies and DM, but I wouldn’t assume that makes us friends or even colleagues. Maybe if we had met in person or shared some sort of ongoing e-mail correspondence I would feel open to asking you to retweet or support something I was working on. Even then I would ask, not demand, and if you said no I’d just be like “cool, maybe next time.”

    Honestly, how can anyone expect to work in social media without being open and friendly? It’s what this thing of ours is all about.

    • BuzzEdition says:

      Make no mistake, if the content she had shared was good, I would have tried to help her. But it was an advertisement.

      And as far as relationships on twitter, I without a doubt would be open to anything you asked me for help with. Of course only if I liked it, but I have seen your twitter stream, and you have an eye for quality ;-)

  2. Aaron says:

    Hello Susan,

    Interesting blog post, to be frank I don’t think you answered her like crap at all. I include them as only retweet for benefits LoL! I had two similar experience before.

    Exp 1:
    Someone tweeted me to retweet their contest and they have never retweeted me once. I replied “haha” LoL! Now that is more harsh!

    Exp 2:
    Someone asked me to tweet to my followers to follow them, i said “what should i say?” they replied “tell them I’m a great guy and worth to follow” funny thing is I don’t know him and we never exchange tweet before. I check his time line he was talking more to himself. So i said I won’t do it and he said he’ll unfollow me. LoL! fine with me.

    I guess a lot of people “experts” or not don’t really “get it”.

    Great blog post.

  3. Joe says:

    Your title ‘Social Media Engineer’ makes me want to vomit. Your follow/following ratio is almost 1:1 – what exactly are you engineering? Favours?

    • BuzzEdition says:

      “Social Media Engineer” was not my title…it was from her website.

      As far as the rest of your comment, I don’t apologize for my followers, I don’t aggressively go out to find people, and I don’t follow everyone back or auto-follow any longer. I cleaned up my account a year ago, and never looked back.

      I enjoy sharing and socializing in social media. And I haven’t asked anyone for favors in nearly a year, I prefer to put the content out there and see what people like.

      And as far as your friend killer_bunnie, you should apologize to her for vomiting on her title ;-)

      • spencer says:

        A rather funny post. Any advice on quickly cleaning out the Twitter account, or do you just have to go through manually one at a time. I did the auto-follow thing a while back and am now regretting it, but dread going through to knock off people who likely have no interest in what I tweet and I have no interest theirs, and we’re just cluttering each other’s feeds.
        Thanks for your reply. I’ll owe you an RT or something. ;)

  4. Sonal says:

    Well done, girl!! I believe your reply to her was firm, not rude. She seems to be the one crossing the line

  5. Hello BuzzEdition,

    Thank you for this excellent post. I consider myself quite knowledgeable in the social media department. As a result, I know that I would never get into that kind of pickle with anyone, especially on Twitter and Facebook. First, I don’t like arguing and being pushy in general. Second, we are all entitled to making our own decisions.

    To me, you build your reputation on a few things. Customer service is one of them. Customer service is everywhere, even when someone is not a client. As an “expert” or “guru” (as some people like to call themselves), you should know better than anyone else that there are some rules you cannot break.

    This was a pushy practice and you were totally right in denouncing it. You were honest, you were not interested. Her ego spoke and that’s why she told you that you were disrespecting her.

    What is a social media engineer anyway? I like how people like to find the weirdest names just for fluff. At the end of the day, my question always is: Have you delivered? Most of them never do. Social media requires intelligence and common sense, not showing off and being pushy. ;-)

    Have a great weekend, folks! ;-)

  6. @osullivanci says:

    Twitter does give you the ability to connect and talk to people you would have never dreamed possible a few years ago. It is incredibly socialising and liberating. However there is an etiquette and essentially respect and trust.

    I think feigning innocence on the difference between infographic and an advert is a little weak seeing this site is included on her profile.

  7. Excellent post Susan, totally agree. I have had people ask to to write blog post highlighting their websites for free, I politely said no too.

  8. Haha this is funny.

    She gets mad just like my wife! ;)

    We’re Social Media experts and personally know a couple of them, and I can assure that her attitude is not about being a Social Media expert (or maybe she’s just not an expert!!) :O

    Hugs and kisses,

    ~Ramon Polo

  9. Hello Susan,

    Maybe I just don’t have the balls that woman does because I think that’s pretty rude of her to just DM you asking to guest post on your site. She’s RT’d you a handful of times. That does not equate to engagement at all.

    In addition, one look at your site and she’d see that a UK-based infographic (that really isn’t all that funny or interesting) probably wouldn’t go over all that well.

    Furthermore, having just created Guest Blogging Agreements for a few clients, one of the terms in there strictly prohibits outbound links that are not directly to the guest blogger’s own website. Affiliate links are also strictly prohibited.

    I don’t consider myself a Social Media expert, but I do think I’m professional enough to know not to ask a near stranger to promote me and/or my blog. If it happens organically, fine. But unless I have a good working professional relationship, I think she is the one who exercised poor judgment in asking you to do a guest post that would benefit no one but herself.

    Just my opinion,

  10. amd says:

    There’s no need to choose to tie yourself in knots about her or indulge or waste a minute’s time trying to figure out her reasons. If someone annoys you on Twitter, unfollow. If they unfollow you, don’t worry about it (yes, that’s a choice too. It really is.) If you really don’t want to hear from them again, block them. That’s it. Sorted. Yes, it’s that simple if you choose to make it that simple. Just wish it was that easy in real life to ignore certain people.