The Best And Worst Tiger Woods Jokes (So Far)
Poor Tiger Woods. His perfect, clean-cut image is no longer so squeaky clean. After his early morning car crash, he has remained mostly quiet with the exception of one statement apologizing for his transgressions. However his lengthy silence allowed the minds of Twitter users, bloggers and the media to take advantage.
Now while I do agree the alleged affair is a private matter between Tiger and his wife, I can’t help but laugh at some of the creativity that has surfaced.
From CGI recreations of what may have happened the morning of the car crash to a chart listing appropriate golf clubs for the angry wife’s revenge, there are lots of jokes been passed around to poke fun at Tiger Woods and his transgressions.
Feel free to keep this post updated by adding your faves to the comments, but now here they are, in no particular order.
1. The Angry Wife’s Guide To Golf Clubs
Maxim magazine creates a great chart to aid angry women in choosing a golf club to get revenge after being wronged by their partner.
2. Random Jokes about Tiger Woods
Would Tiger’s wife be willing to forgive him if he changed his name to Cheatah?
Apparently, the only person who can beat Tiger Woods with a golf club is his wife.
Tiger Woods drove an Escalade into a tree. Pro golfers generally treat caddies better than that.
Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole in one.
What’s the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.
Tiger Woods wasn’t seriously injured in the crash, but he’s still below par.
What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning? They went clubbing
Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn’t decide between a wood and an iron.
New Nike “TW” hat……..$25
New Nike Golf Shoes……$125
New Cadillac Escalade….$60,000
New Nike Iron, wrapped around your head, By jealous wife..
……PRICELESS ! !
3. CGI Creation Of Tiger Woods’ Accident
Seems the Chinese went to some extra effort to recreate the scene with a full CGI video of what may have occurred.
4. The Wanda Sykes Show: Tiger Woods Car Accident
Wanda tells her version of what happened that night, and I must say, that’s my version as well.
5. Hell Hath No Fury – Like A Viking Scorned by Phil Linehan
Was Tiger perhaps trying to take flight
when he jumped into his car in the middle of the night?
How else to explain his behavior manic
as he stepped on the gas in a state of panic.
Did he think he was hitting the tee
when he bashed his car into a tree?
Was he trying to practice a putting shot
when he walloped an immovable water spigot?
We have to imagine he was hurrying to avoid being berated
by someone who was a little bit irritated
Had he perhaps done something he should not
and in his peccadillo had just been caught?
If he had bothered to study some Scandinavian history
Elin’s behavior should have been no mystery
for Vikings tend to react quite strongly
when they think they have been treated wrongly.
We have many examples of what happens when their ire
can lead to consequences best described as dire.
So he should be careful when next temped to push her over the edge
or she might come after him wielding his very best wedge.
At least we know now what to give a bride
when about a gift for her shower we must decide.
If we cannot find a nice silver dish for butter
we can always present a weighted putter.
6. Tiger Woods made Hau Lung-Bing the Worst Person in the World
Banning Tiger Woods Graphic story lands Hau Lung-Bing, mayor of Taiepi city in Taiwan, the Worst Person in the World on Keith Olbermann’s show on MSNBC.
7. Jimmy Kimmel Goes to a Barbershop to Talk About Tiger Woods
They cover a wide range of topics including “was this a police cover-up to keep a black guy out of jail?”
8. Conan O’Brien: New Tiger Woods Videogame
Bet you can guess what happens in this one…
9. The Tiger Woods “I Did It For Love” Mashup
Basically this is the CGI version put to music, but it’s fun.
10. David Letterman’s Top 10 Stories Tiger Is Giving The Cops
While I know this one would have been classic, it appears the writers quit because David Letterman wanted to write the jokes and they sucked. So we miss out on a few gems like, ” Let he who hath not sinned cast the first stone.” Wait…what? Oh well you can read more about that story over at Chicago Now.
11. Tiger Woods Voicemail Slow Jam Remix
And they keep on coming….
12. Out of the (Tiger) Woods Driving School video
From SportsChump.net a great driving school for Tiger!
Don’t forget to add your faves to the comments!
You may also like “Jokes Aside, It’s Time For Tiger Woods To Cry” the follow-up story!